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During a recent track test, a full launch control sprint to 60 mph took just 3.2 seconds, a half-second quicker than the SLS GT. It's also more than a half-second quicker down the quarter mile and 5.3 mph faster (11.1 seconds at 129.8 mph). It demolished our figure eight in 23.1 seconds at an average 0.97 g (the GT does it in 23.9 seconds at 0.87 g), and it stuck with nearly a tenth more g-force (1.11 g versus the GT's 1.04 g). Braking from 60 mph takes just 100 feet.

That's data that'll make rivals McLaren and Ferrari sweat. The Benz beats both the MP4-12C and 458 Italia on the skidpad (both 1.06 g), in the figure eight (McLaren: 23.2 seconds at 0.91 g; Ferrari: 23.5 seconds at 0.90 g), and in full ABS stops from 60 mph (both 106 feet). It's so much fun on our figure eight that quite a few staffers jumped at the chance to lap it.

My turn is today. The first batch of esses arrives at the SLS' massive nose faster than expected. The long front clip, together with the confining cocoon of a cockpit, has me double-checking apexes and recalculating driving lines. A nicely weighted tug comes at the slightest rotation of the communicative helm. Stabbing the left pedal catapults me hard into the belts as I dip the 12 o'clock strip a few more degrees. The SLS stays superbly solid. The chassis reacts without drama, no matter the severity of my command. It hunkers and holds, while the aft end grips with commensurate fervency. (Getting a tail-wagging SLS GT to do the same would require a lot more braking, less speed, and a very judicial dose of throttle).

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The cunning application of all 468 lb-ft of torque further shortens -- and enhances -- my encounters with the corners. Granted, the car's cutting-edge electronics and a new electronically activated rear differential lock deserve most of the praise. The latter aides in the reduction of yaw, and right about now, as these left-right-on-power-off-power transitions test the reflexes of both vehicle and driver, the orchestration of all systems is buttery smooth, traction is maintained, and the SLS composedly wreaks havoc on this path at stupid speeds.

Pulling the starboard paddle produces a glorious roar from the titanium pipes. It's as if at every subsequent cog, every faster revolution of the crankshaft, a pack of lions is awakened from their post-slaughter slumber by trolling tourists. It's enticing, enthralling, and if you're not ready for it, a little shocking. Long live angry kitties.

Roars turn into short, rev-matched barks as downshifts curb momentum, and although the dual-clutch transaxle is intuitive, not every downshift comes when commanded. The electronics aren't all that trusting of their human captain. Upshifts, too, have a 500 rpm buffer between paddle flap and gear engagement, which is frustrating at 10/10ths driving effort.

I notice a little yellow sliding car icon flashing below my line of sight as I navigate a new chicane. Bouts of all-out tail wagging could easily be incited were it not for that icon and the programmed brains behind it. Amazingly, five miles into my run, it's the first time it's come on.

The Benz is a double-take-rousing, neck-breakingly special machine that'll shrivel adrenal glands, make ears yearn for that distinct titanium-accented elocution, and have egos balloon to Goodyear blimp proportions. I emerge feeling like Lewis Hamilton after an easy win in Monaco. The sweat on my brow comes from the experience of pure, almost carnal bliss, not hard work, like I'd have in a Viper or 'Vette. If my soul had the ability, it'd be smiling like my ugly face.

Hands-down, this is the most athletic, road-going two-door that has ever worn the 125 year-old three-pointed star

2014 Mercedes-Benz SLS Black Series
BASE PRICE	$275,925
PRICE AS TESTED	$296,075
VEHICLE LAYOUT	Front-engine, RWD, 2-pass, 2-door coupe
ENGINE	6.2L/622-hp/468-lb-ft DOHC 32-valve V-8
TRANSMISSION	7-speed twin-clutch auto.
CURB WEIGHT (F/R DIST)	3710 lb (46/54%)
WHEELBASE	105.5 in
LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT	182.6 x 76.3 x 49.7 in
0-60 MPH	3.2 sec
QUARTER MILE	11.1 sec @ 129.8 mph
BRAKING, 60-0 MPH	100 ft
LATERAL ACCELERATION	1.11 g (avg)
MT FIGURE EIGHT	23.1 sec @ 0.97 g (avg)
EPA CITY/HWY FUEL ECON	12/18 mpg (est)
ENERGY CONS., CITY/HWY	281/187 kW-hrs/100 miles (est)
CO2 EMISSIONS	1.37 lb/mile (est)

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